? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize