How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
