dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
