I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
