Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
