I don't think brook has ever known best
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
