you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
why is half of my head shaved?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
