He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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