Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
