walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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