she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
