so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
