he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
