I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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