oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
