I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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