im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
