For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
