did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
