Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
