before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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