Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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