I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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