someone owes me an orgasm
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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