I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize