I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Terrible idea I love it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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