Screwed.edu
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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