I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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