Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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