I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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