I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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