Where did you get a picture of my penis
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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