dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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