You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
