I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize