redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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