I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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