my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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