dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
nutella sex= disaster
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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