At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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