youre lurking in front of me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
