All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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