It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
this will be a night to untag.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize