if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Holy shit dude........stairs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
