that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
