Screwed.edu
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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