When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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