We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize