Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
