She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
