Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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