Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize