Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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