Don't make out with my wife yet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
