My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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