i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
