Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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