with your own penis?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
