Are we in a gay sports bar?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize