You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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