shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
