What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
