The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Boobs speak an international language.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
