So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize