i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
