The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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